Scott is back after a brief leave of absence during which he bedded a supermodel. I think we’ll let him slide…
Each Friday, Scott Muska will be blurbing some important information for Funny Moms, so you can quickly and easily stay up to speed on all the stuff that’s happening in the world of pop culture.
Parents are busy.
It’s not like you have time to surf the Internet all day, reading about pop culture and current events, you know, between having to keep your small humans alive and all.
But Scott does. He’s childless and a freelance writer, which means he spends most of his day in front of his laptop skimming the most pertinent information the Internet has to offer. (He spends the rest of his day staring at a blank page and a blinking cursor, sometimes weeping.)
The following stories caught his attention this week:
Justin Bieber videos are popping up left and right that show him saying nigger and doing all kinds of other racist nonsense. I feel like we should have traded him for Berdahl, or at the very least a leftie triple A middle reliever.
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are now married, if you have any fucks to give about that. My bookie is taking action re: over/under on how long before one of them either kills the other one or they get divorced. As a wedding gift to Kardashian, West gave her this terrible painting. Yes. It does say “Perfect Bitch” on it.
Jonah Hill called a paparazzo a faggot and got caught. Now he’s making the rounds to apologize for saying it. He’s apologized on Jimmy Fallon’s and Howard Stern’s shows. He defended himself by saying he spent most of the day with a homosexual friend. Hopefully now people will stop putting him in movies. Dude is so annoying. This is what he said on Stern: “I played into exactly what he wanted and lost my cool. And in that moment, I said a disgusting word that does not at all reflect how I feel about any group of people. I grew up with gay family members. I’m leaving here to go spend the day with one of my closest coworkers, a best friend who is gay who’s getting married who I’m going to stand at his wedding. I am not at all defending my choice of words, but I am happy to be the poster boy for thinking about what you say and how those words, even if you don’t intend them and how they mean, they are rooted in hate. And that’s bullshit and I shouldn’t have said that.”
Casey Kasem is physically sick. His wife is apparently mentally ill. When one of Kasem’s daughters came to his home to take him to the hospital last weekend, His wife, Jean, threw a hunk of raw meat at her. Jean referred to King David of the Bible, saying she was throwing meat at “the dogs.”
Within days of one another, Gwyneth Paltrow and Charlize Theron said some of the dumbest, most angering shit I’ve ever read about the Internet. Paltrow compared negative online comments to war, and Theron compared them to rape. If I designed T-shirts that said FUCK GOOP, who would buy one?