Parents are busy.
It’s not like you have time to surf the Internet all day, reading about pop culture and current events, you know, between having to keep your small humans alive and all.
But Scott does. He’s childless and a freelance writer, which means he spends most of his day in front of his laptop skimming the most pertinent information the Internet has to offer. (He spends the rest of his day staring at a blank page and a blinking cursor, sometimes weeping.)
Each Friday, he’ll be blurbing some important information for Funny Moms, so you can quickly and easily stay up to speed on all the stuff that’s happening in the world of pop culture. We’ll provide you with fodder for weekend play dates and whatever other opportunities for adult interaction you may encounter.
This week, David Letterman announced he would be retiring from Late Night in 2015. CBS wasted no time finding, securing and announcing the replacement: Stephen Colbert. It will be interesting to see Colbert perform night in and night out without being able to rely as heavily on his trademark persona. It will also be interesting to laugh during an episode of Late Night again. No word yet on where Letterman is going to move his in-office sex dungeon.
A video of a 25-year-old Jon Hamm getting rejected by a woman on a dating show has been making the Internet rounds. It just goes to show that bitches won’t give you the time of day until you’re rich and famous and there are pictures everywhere of your gargantuan cock.
If you want to see photos of Demi Lovato naked and snogging with her current boyfriend and former semi-celebrity Wilmer Valderama, just Google it and then sift through the billion results. Actually, if you Google: “Young celebrities who do not have naked photos of themselves circulating the Internet,” you will get many fewer hits. Be wary that if you view these photos, you will never look at Fez from That 70s Show in the same way again. Though you will finally understand why Valderama was so great at acting like a pervert. He has clearly mastered Daniel-Day-Lewis levels of method acting.
Amanda Bynes has been re-released into the public eye after some time spent in a facility where she received treatment for mental illness(es). Her mother is insisting that she has no mental illness whatsoever, and that the clinically insane behavior she prolifically displayed less than a year ago is the result of a weed addiction. If there is even a shred of truth to this, then I now have tacit confirmation that my drug dealer has been selling me oregano for YEARS and I have never actually been high. Also, Katie and Erin both live in Colorado, so if they start writing stuff about how they want Drake to “murder their vaginas,” rest assured it is only because they are baked, and not because they are completely insane. (Although THC-impairment aside, the jury is still out on that last point).
Jeb Bush made headlines this week after saying in an interview that illegal immigration is an “act of love,” making him the first of the infamous Bush clan to say something sane and sensible in the past two decades. This happened while his older brother George made headlines for showcasing terrible portrait paintings that he has begun to craft in his retirement. Kind of makes you wonder how in the fuck it came to be that the latter was POTUS for EIGHT FUCKING YEARS, doesn’t it? Maybe it’s not such a horrible idea to allow illegal aliens to vote…
Republican Representative Vance McCallister of Louisiana was caught on security tape this week kissing a member of his staff. Prior to this event he was famous mostly for having garnered the support of the family responsible for Duck Dynasty. (Kind of begs the question whether the kissing recipient was in fact his first cousin.) I’m not at all disturbed that a family-value-preaching-and-God-fearing politician cheated on his wife. I mean, Bill Clinton was the best POTUS of my lifetime, and Slick Willy was getting his dick wet erryday without Hil ever being in the room. What disturbs me about this whole tale, is that the Robertson clan was able to get a guy into public office.
If you haven’t seen this video of a sloppy woman clad only in a thong wreaking complete fucking havoc on a McDonald’s in – three guesses – yep, Florida, neglect your children for the next minute and give it a look. Apparently, the woman did so because a McDonald’s employee declined her offer of a blowjob in the parking lot moments prior. So fellas, we now know what would happen if we were ever to turn down a blowjob, which was until this week an unprecedented phenomenon.