Each Friday, Scott Muska will be blurbing some important information for Funny Moms, so you can quickly and easily stay up to speed on all the stuff that’s happening in the world of pop culture.
Parents are busy.
It’s not like you have time to surf the Internet all day, reading about pop culture and current events, you know, between having to keep your small humans alive and all.
But Scott does. He’s childless and a freelance writer, which means he spends most of his day in front of his laptop skimming the most pertinent information the Internet has to offer. (He spends the rest of his day staring at a blank page and a blinking cursor, sometimes weeping.)
Each Friday, he’ll be blurbing some important information for Funny Moms, so you can quickly and easily stay up to speed on all the stuff that’s happening in the world of pop culture. We’ll provide you with fodder for weekend play dates and whatever other opportunities for adult interaction you may encounter.
Historians say a three-inch piece of papyrus that makes mention of Jesus’s wife is a legitimate document—making people question whether JC may have been married. I wonder if his wife knew he was hanging out with that whore Mary Magdalene all the time, and if said wife is up in heaven right now giving guff to all the Bible staff writers who didn’t even think she was worth one fucking mention.
Earlier this week, a US Airways employee tweeted what he thought was a link for the airline’s customer feedback page. But, wouldn’t you know it? It was actually a link to an image of a woman with a model airplane protruding from her vagina. Gee, it’s the darndest thing! It came from a German revenge porn site, which could easily be mistaken for an airline feedback venue if you’re feverishly masturbating while on the clock at your social media managing job.
US Airways has reported that they will not fire the tweeter, because it was a mistake. DON’T YOU DARE MAKE A FUCKING JOKE ABOUT HOW THEY FINALLY FOUND THE MALAYSIAN FLIGHT. It’s too soon.
The Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival kicked off last weekend in California, and it continues through this weekend. This is relevant only insofar as if it comes up, you should talk all kinds of shit on the event itself and the people who go there. It’s one of those things that has become super cool to hate. Like Nickelback or hipsters or Lady Gaga.
Speaking of Lady Gaga, she filmed a video in California this week that wasted 365,000 gallons of water. This is a shitty thing to do made even shittier by the fact that California is experiencing a serious drought right now. But she cares so much about everybody, you guys! And it was FOR THE ART. Normal people like us just don’t fucking understand.
This week, Jenny McCarthy got engaged to Donnie Wahlberg, a man who exudes the intelligence level of somebody who doesn’t even realize what autism is or what vaccinations are, so they are a perfect match.
Think you had a rough week? Not as bad as rapper Christ Bearer, who has loose affiliations with Wu-Tang Clan. He cut his dick off and jumped from the second-floor balcony of his apartment in California. He survived the fall, but doctors were unsuccessful in reattaching his purple-headed yogurt slinger. At least now he’ll never again be mistaken for Wu-Tang member GZA. (It’s pronounced “jizz-ah.”
Get it? Because if you don’t have a penis you can’t ejaculate? NAILED IT.)
See you next week. Until then, keep fighting the good fight, y’all.