On Fridays, Scott Muska will be blurbing some important information for Funny Moms, so you can quickly and easily stay up to speed on all the stuff that’s happening in the world of pop culture.
Parents are busy.
It’s not like you have time to surf the Internet all day, reading about pop culture and current events, you know, between having to keep your small humans alive and all.
But Scott does. He’s childless and a freelance writer, which means he spends most of his day in front of his laptop skimming the most pertinent information the Internet has to offer. (He spends the rest of his day staring at a blank page and a blinking cursor, sometimes weeping.)
The following stories caught his attention this week:
I don’t think I’ve written one of these in three months that doesn’t have something to do with Justin Bieber. This makes me want to punch myself in my own dick. But here I go again: Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are apparently back together for the 804th time. Honestly, this isn’t shocking or even celebrity newsworthy, but I want to bring it to your attention since you ladies have children, and as such can use this couple to teach your kids how not to be. I mean, if we raise the next generation to be anti-Bieber and anti-Gomez, then maybe we can finally shift the paradigm from “be the worst person you can be and you will get the pretty girl, and who gives a fuck if she’s, you know, kind of slow and stupid?!”
Dr. Oz was taken to task this week after admitting that a lot of the diets and things he advocates for on his show are, well, bullshit. Color me surprised. Dude is on daytime television, and looks and behaves like an elf. Just thought I’d let you know, in case you’re wondering why you haven’t lost all of that baby weight yet.
It’s been a big week for THE SPORTS. The Los Angeles Kings won the Stanley Cup (the NHL professional hockey sports championship) in double overtime. They beat the New York Rangers. The San Antonio Spurs whipped the shit out of the Miami Heat to take the NBA championship (that is the professional basketball sport). This means LeBron James and Dwyane Wade have failed, and that we should all rejoice. Also, the United States men’s soccer team beat Ghana in their first World Cup game. They play on Sunday evening, against Portugal. There was also some golf shit, but nobody cares about that. So now you can talk to your husband about THE SPORTS all weekend long!
In news that would be surprising if it happened to literally anybody else except the person it happened to, that Guido “The Situation” from Jersey Shore was arrested this week for punching his brother IN A TANNING SALON. You can’t make that shit up.
Two things that might actually surprise you: Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are still married, and I went on a date this week and it went well!