Each Friday, Scott Muska will be blurbing some important information for Funny Moms, so you can quickly and easily stay up to speed on all the stuff that’s happening in the world of pop culture.
Parents are busy.
It’s not like you have time to surf the Internet all day, reading about pop culture and current events, you know, between having to keep your small humans alive and all.
But Scott does. He’s childless and a freelance writer, which means he spends most of his day in front of his laptop skimming the most pertinent information the Internet has to offer. (He spends the rest of his day staring at a blank page and a blinking cursor, sometimes weeping.)
The following stories caught his attention this week:
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are getting married this weekend. I normally wouldn’t write about this because I don’t have any fucks left to give about either of them, but I had to mention it to get to the point I’m trying to make, which is that RAY J IS A FUCKING AMERICAN HERO. You may be asking, “Who is Ray J?” Ray J is vaguely famous for being Brandy’s brother and for kind of being a rapper. But his main claim to fame is that he made a professionally-lit and edited sex tape with Kim Kardashian that somehow “leaked” to the public. Anyway, Ray J’s wedding gift to the Kattention-whores is a check for $46,000, which amounts to the money he made in royalties for the porn flick over a four-month period in 2013. God, I love Ray J. (Never thought I’d say that.)
Sum-41 singer and ex-husband to crazy Canadian Avril Lavigne was hospitalized and nearly died after years of hardcore binge drinking. This makes sense to me. I’d drink myself to the brink of death if my wife left me for Chad Kroeger, too.
Jay Z and Beyonce released a trailer to promote their summer tour, and they put a bunch of famous people in it, like Sean Penn, Don Cheadle, Blake Lively, Emmy Rossum, and Donnie Darko. I’m not sure why they dumped money into a promotional video. The tour would sell out even if something crazy happened, like Jay Z being physically attacked in an elevator by Beyonce’s sister. It’s not really worth watching the trailer, to be honest. It has more gratuitous cameos than Anchorman 2.
Awful rapper Macklemore performed in Jew Face last weekend. Then, he tried to explain that he wasn’t making fun of Jewish stereotypes. What a cheap stunt! (Get it? Because Jewish people are stereotypically cheap? I’ve still got it.)
If your husband is watching golf this weekend and is cheering harder than usual for Rory Mcllroy, this is why: the dude broke up with his tennis star fiancée, Caroline Wozniacki, days after the former couple sent out invitations for their wedding. Why? Mcllroy realized he wasn’t ready for marriage. What an intelligent dude.